Debbie Blank
Forget about TV’s “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” In Batesville, it’s Dwight & Cindy Plus 9.
Their Thanksgiving table will be bountiful as 15 other relatives descend on the rural Batesville home of Dwight and Cindy Collins.
On the table will be turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, dressing, broccoli casserole, a new corn dish, green beans, rolls, pineapple upside down cake, three pies and chocolate pudding.
The nine children there to enjoy the spread include the couple’s three biological sons: Michael, 21; Christopher, 18; and Robert, 7; and six foster kids: George, 19; Shelby, 15; Charlie, 6; Abby, 5; Dennis, 4; and Shy-Ann, 3.
Cindy Collins considers Abby her granddaughter. “Abby's mother aged out (of the state’s foster system), but is going through a little bit of a hard time” so they are raising her child temporarily. “Abby calls us Mamaw and Papaw. George is her uncle.”
The foster mom predicts she will feel fulfilled “when I sit back and look at them all eating what I cooked. It's just heartwarming seeing them all together in one room.”
Collins knows this holiday may be hard for a few of the young ones. “They're not used to some of our traditions. A lot don't have the family aspect, they never had a lot of people over. Some fall right in. It depends on the child. Some retreat.”
In 2002, Cindy Collins was working at a Harrison, Ohio, factory, then went on maternity leave. Her sister showed up at her doorstep with three children, begging Cindy to take them in. “Me and my husband just saw their faces and couldn't say no.” The Franklin County Department of Child Services was a valuable resource. Their second careers as foster parents “just took off from there.”
The couple eventually became licensed through Ripley, Dearborn, Franklin, Ohio and Switzerland counties so they may accept youth from all of those areas. They moved to a larger home in Ripley County three years ago so they could care for even more.
A process must be completed before officials can trust adults with foster kids. “You have to go through 20 hours of training,” a home inspection, police background check, tuberculosis test and a physical and be fingerprinted before obtaining a license. Ten hours of training must be completed each year. There’s an area class for foster parents at least once or twice a month.
“The Department of Child Services is doing a lot more to get the parents involved,” according to her. Team meetings bring together biological and foster parents with a caseworker to discuss the child’s needs. "I'm busy,” she says. “You have to have a car that goes and has the room. There are doctors' appointments, school meetings, therapy.” At one point, three children met with therapists on different days each week.
The Collinses receive per diems for each foster child – a fee per day for room and board. Each child gets Medicaid and free textbooks and lunch assistance at school, plus a $400 or so clothing allowance. “A lot of kids will come with just the clothes on their backs,” she tells. Outgrown items are saved for children who arrive later.
So far the couple have cared for 24 foster kids, including the six they have now. Daniel from Decatur County had the shortest stay, 26 days. “We both cried the day he left,” Cindy recalls. The long-timer is George, a high school senior, who arrived as a seventh-grader.
What did their three biological sons think when the family expanded? “That is something that concerned me,” their mom acknowledges. When the phone rings with a possible placement, “we give them (all children) a choice,” reports Dwight, a maintenance man at two Greensburg apartment complexes. “It's been a yes for the most part.” His wife adds, “They want to give and give.”
Robert always thinks that more children “would be fun to play with.” Christopher finds extra siblings to be “pretty cool. Your family grows with every child and you get to meet new people.”
Michael, who has his own apartment now, enjoys the role of “older brother to all the kids.” He returns home to play war in the woods, even play house, “whatever they want to do.” Following his parents’ lead, Michael says, “I've always been that way, helping people out.”
When new fosters knock on the door, “we try to fit them in our family right off the bat, make them feel welcome,” according to the dad. “We use our animals a lot” to make them comfortable, the mom explains. A dachshund, Tennessee walking horse, five ducks, bunch of chickens and two cockatiels that talk to each other keep the children amused.
After a honeymoon stage (“everything goes smooth for the first 30 days”), “then it can just progress” to rage as some feel unwanted or abandoned. “You have to really be there for that child,” she says. “You have to put yourself in their shoes and let them know you do understand their feelings and what they're going through .... A lot of these kids have no consistence or stability. Once they see that in you, you're home free.”
DCS is “all about reunification” with biological parents if at all possible. Dwight Collins finds it difficult “when you see a child go home to a parent who hasn't changed. It's kind of going to be a failure” with the child maybe going back into foster care at another home.
The rewards outweigh that concern. “Knowing that we made a difference in their lives” makes Cindy content. “You can take a kid out of a bad atmosphere ... and turn their whole life around” keeps Dwight surrounded by kids.
They know there is a great need for more foster parents. Adults starting out caring for kids they’ve just met might find “it's scary,” Dwight says. Cindy’s advice to new participants? “Just to go for it .... I was kind of skeptical, nervous. I don't regret anything we chose to do. It's something I want to continue to do.
“Our first placements still call. It's a never-ending family. I have 24 kids out there who call me Mom when they see me. It's a good feeling.”
Debbie Blank can be contacted at 934-4343, Ext. 113.
